Today was a difficult day for me. Yes, this lockdown is taking its toll on all of us. It wasn’t difficult because it is day 58 of lockdown. It wasn’t difficult because I miss being around people.
It was difficult because today we had to say goodbye to a family member. And we couldn’t be there in person. It was difficult because I know my dad and his brother were so close and my dad couldn’t be there. I also couldn’t be there for my dad. It was even more difficult to know that my grandma (who lives in an old age home) couldn’t say goodbye to her son. My cousin weren’t even allowed to enter the old age home premises to help set up a device for her to watch the memorial online. It was difficult because I go back to work on Monday and I am a little stressed as I need to enter the unknown.
And tonight I sit with many emotions:
Grief for my cousins who lost their dad.
Heartache because of my dad’s loss.
Anger because of the unfairness towards my grandma.
Fear for what will happen in the future.
And then comes that feeling of loneliness. Not that I am lonely at all….. But because I miss my family and I wish we can be together during this time.
This all made me think of children and their emotions. This pandemic affects us all. In some way or another. Whether we realise it or not. And I realised the feelings I experienced today must be what a child feels every day!
Today most of my strong, overwhelming emotions were experienced because my caregivers had a difficult day…
And it came to me like glitter flying from the sky…. that’s what kids do!!! They project their parents feelings! Can you remember of a time that you were really stressed out and your baby just didn’t stop crying? It’s because your baby became aware of your stress! Kids are aware of ALL our emotions.
Kids also pick up on a lot of adult conversations. I can tell you of horrific stories that kids told me at school (“news” they heard from their parents). And yes, it was things that appeared in the newspaper, but definitely NOT appropriate information for kids to know.
Kids understand more than we think they do. But one thing they do not understand is how to process information. So if we talk about the coronavirus and the statistics and even your concerns around it in front of the kids, they hear it. They pick up on your feelings when you talk about it….. And they start feeling it.
So, you might want to know, what can you as a parent do? The most important thing to remember is: there’s NOTHING wrong with seeking professional help if you see your child is becoming depressed during this pandemic (or any other time). You know your child and you will know when something is not right. Trust your gut.
Don’t talk politics or about negative news in front of your kids. Have those discussions at night when they are asleep or when they are in another room.
Do make them aware of issues in our country, but only on their level. They do not need to know how many new coronavirus cases there are today. What they do need to know is how to practice social distancing, how to practice good hygiene, why they wear masks, what to expect when they go back to school….
It is also not wrong for you as parent to seek help if you feel you need it. Do not live with the assumption of “I will just have to stay strong for my child” …. You need to be in a good place emotionally to be able to stay strong for your child. Take care of yourself. Self care is so important. And self care is different for everyone. It may be baking cookies, going for a run, reading a book, taking a nap, spending time with friends or maybe something small like having a can of condensed milk or a glass of wine for that matter! But TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!
I want to give you a little task. Go and think of one thing you can do to take care of yourself. It can be anything! And make time…. Have a moment for yourself!
I would love some feedback💜
Help your child beecome their very best 